Our First Homecoming!!

Raymond and I have always encouraged Toby to avoid the "relationships" that young people get into because they cause hurt feelings, and broken hearts, not to mention unnecessary tempations. We have always encouraged him to have lots of friendships with those people that he likes and to keep it at friends to avoid the drama that comes with "going out". (I use quotes because at this age, they don't GO anywhere). As you probably guessed, he doesn't listen to such advice. At this age, they all want a "girlfriend or boyfriend".

It is now football season. With football season, comes homecoming. With homecoming comes high school freshman homecoming drama. UGHHHH!!!! About a month ago, Toby asked a young lady that he is "just friends" with to go to the homecoming dance with him - AS FRIENDS!! She said "yes" and plans were in motion.

We are new to high school and new to Texas. Apparently, in Texas, there is a HUGE tradition of homecoming mums. They are artificial mums with long ribbons (the more the better) hanging off the front of them. Then all over the ribbons, they attach all manner of trinkets, including cow bells. They put your name and the name of your date on the ribbons, along with homecoming and the year. The girls then attach this to the front of their shirts and wear them to school on the day of the homecoming football game and to the game. The boys have an equally gaudy (in my opinion) mum with ribbons, attached to a garter that they wear on their arms. It's a big deal and an equally BIG expense. So,we ordered our mum to give to his friend/date.



In the meantime, he began hanging out with another young lady. They became friends that then wanted to "go out". I encouraged (very strongly) him to wait until AFTER homecoming to become a couple with another girl. I was concerned that his friend/date, would have her feelings hurt by him "going out" with someone else, yet taking her to the dance. For a couple of weeks, Toby indulged me. But, 3 days before the dance, for some reason, he couldn't contain himself any longer.

As I suspected, his date got her feelings hurt and broke off the date for homecoming. As a mom who is new to this high school stuff, I struggled with what to do. Do I let him go with the girl he is going out with? Do I not let him go, assuming he has done something to the first date? Do I try to make him patch things up and go with the girl that has already worn a mum to school that has his name on it? What to do?

Over the next two days, we did a lot of talking to Toby. He really does have a good heart. I know that he loves the Lord and wants to do right. He came up with the plan to apologize to the friend and try to repair that friendship. He was able to see what he had done that hurt her feelings and acknowledged it (at least to us).

We decided to let him go to the dance with the girl he likes. They went with a large group of people, some friends, some couples. Raymond and I drove Toby and his date. We were even going to eat at the same restaurant, but it was too busy. We ate at a neighboring restaurant so we would be close to take them to the dance. They had a great time and we got some great pictures.


I'm still learning how to be a high schooler's mom. Not sure I'll ever figure out what all I'm doing. But we survived our first homecoming and next time I hope things can go a little more smoothly ,with a little less drama.